Things we could speculate about Jesus having owned, but won't:
Toaster Oven
Vespa
The Secret
Takk..
Gorilla Glue
Concerning what magnificent and inspiring events may have transpired had Jesus possessed any the above objects, we refuse to postulate. In the words of a bright young man, "What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence."
Monday, June 30, 2008
Our Maiden Nonsenserie
LS: Hey Dapper Gent. We should really think about posting something... yup.
TDG: Nonsense! Who would want to ruin such a wonderfully blank page with... words?
LS: The Stuff & Nonsense Foundry and Manufactury, that's who. This is kind of awkward, isn't it? Sitting in front of this one computer, switching off... we need to find a better way to capture our devastatingly clever dialog. Also, this chair is uncomfortable.
TDG: Oh, that old thing. Well, I suppose there might be a better way of going about it than this, but let me remind you that it was your idea in the first place. I had suggested that we simply communicate by telegraph, you know. Still seems best to me.
LS: Hrumph. Why not cans on a string, my good fellow? Or Skype. Let us be kind to one another. Remember all the lovely things we were going to post? Dear Gent, what happened to us? There was the incisive "Things We Could Speculate That Jesus Might Have Owned, But Won't." And the timeless "TDG & LS Use Words They Can't Pronounce." Not to mention our gallery reviews. You had a delightful turn of phrase with "Metal things... sometimes with holes in them." Ah, that takes me back. To last month.
TDG: Ah, true, I did say some of those things, didn't I? Er... that is, I believe I said those things. I also believe you mentioned taking a tour through the local art galleries and opera houses, following which give them all a good thrashing in review. And the bars! The taverns! An evening or three in each one this town has to offer, with scathing commentary to follow. Why, I've already begun that project. Hmmm... come to think of it, perhaps that explains why so much of our previous discussions are a blank to me.
LS: I would not know, my good sir, I would not know. I do not frequent establishments where wayward gentlemen consume an excess of spirits. I am a lady. I keep current wine on hand for medicinal purposes, of course, to... calm hysteria and combat the occasional bout of ennui. That, and the occasional swig of cooking sherry. My work with the suffragettes keeps me too busy for such vices. You, sir, need a hobby.
TDG: Ha! Yes, a swig of cooking sherry, and another to keep him company, and perhaps yet another to keep the first two from getting lost. And I remember a time of two, my lady... but no. I suppose I am a gentleman, and it does not do for gentleman to speak of such things. At least, not often.
LS: Ohh, yes. You are all chivalry, Dear Gent. Come, this petty bickering does neither of us credit. Let us settle our differences over a pitcher my famous current sherry punch and a genteel match of lawn tennis.
TDG: Splendid idea, splendid! The sherry punch, that is. The lawn tennis, that I have learned to tolerate. Ah well. Let us away.
TDG: Nonsense! Who would want to ruin such a wonderfully blank page with... words?
LS: The Stuff & Nonsense Foundry and Manufactury, that's who. This is kind of awkward, isn't it? Sitting in front of this one computer, switching off... we need to find a better way to capture our devastatingly clever dialog. Also, this chair is uncomfortable.
TDG: Oh, that old thing. Well, I suppose there might be a better way of going about it than this, but let me remind you that it was your idea in the first place. I had suggested that we simply communicate by telegraph, you know. Still seems best to me.
LS: Hrumph. Why not cans on a string, my good fellow? Or Skype. Let us be kind to one another. Remember all the lovely things we were going to post? Dear Gent, what happened to us? There was the incisive "Things We Could Speculate That Jesus Might Have Owned, But Won't." And the timeless "TDG & LS Use Words They Can't Pronounce." Not to mention our gallery reviews. You had a delightful turn of phrase with "Metal things... sometimes with holes in them." Ah, that takes me back. To last month.
TDG: Ah, true, I did say some of those things, didn't I? Er... that is, I believe I said those things. I also believe you mentioned taking a tour through the local art galleries and opera houses, following which give them all a good thrashing in review. And the bars! The taverns! An evening or three in each one this town has to offer, with scathing commentary to follow. Why, I've already begun that project. Hmmm... come to think of it, perhaps that explains why so much of our previous discussions are a blank to me.
LS: I would not know, my good sir, I would not know. I do not frequent establishments where wayward gentlemen consume an excess of spirits. I am a lady. I keep current wine on hand for medicinal purposes, of course, to... calm hysteria and combat the occasional bout of ennui. That, and the occasional swig of cooking sherry. My work with the suffragettes keeps me too busy for such vices. You, sir, need a hobby.
TDG: Ha! Yes, a swig of cooking sherry, and another to keep him company, and perhaps yet another to keep the first two from getting lost. And I remember a time of two, my lady... but no. I suppose I am a gentleman, and it does not do for gentleman to speak of such things. At least, not often.
LS: Ohh, yes. You are all chivalry, Dear Gent. Come, this petty bickering does neither of us credit. Let us settle our differences over a pitcher my famous current sherry punch and a genteel match of lawn tennis.
TDG: Splendid idea, splendid! The sherry punch, that is. The lawn tennis, that I have learned to tolerate. Ah well. Let us away.
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